Stabbed in the foot

As I sat down to breakfast this morning, I did what I usually do. Bleary eyed, I slump on my chair, cross my legs and to eat whatever breakfast we could muster (breakfast is usually what Eizwan and I are awake enough to prepare). Except today, was a bit of a break from the usual routine. As I slumped on my seat, and crossed my legs, my right foot knocked the chair next to mine and a huge splinter stabbed the sole of my foot.

Ever the calm one, I started shrieking badly and I was bleeding everywhere. You would think that furniture are designed not to injure people. But no, huge splinter, blood everywhere. In between hysterics and the pain, I remember thinking that if it’s that painful to have a splinter in your foot, I really don’t want to imagine what it’s like being stabbed.

Thankfully Eizwan was there and he held my foot tight and without any warning, yanked the splinter out. I screeched – and was mildly impressed that I can hit such a high note. And being the Asian that I am, we opted to disinfect the wound with an ointment made of sea cucumbers.

I thought the event with the splinter was an omen of the kind of day to be expected. As it turns out, I was very, very wrong. The foot bothered me a little through out the day, the cut was very deep and so walking was a little tough – but I was able to ignore it. The day turned out very well. The project that I was working on – it was coming together very nicely. I am terribly excited about this project – a lot of my ideas, stories and writing will be presented in France and I do hope that in some way possible, my writing would influence a distributor to purchase at least one of the products (TV shows) from my client.

It had been a very difficult week, I’ve been working constantly and non-stop, and I was a little concerned that the massive splinter was going to be an omen whereby things would continue to go wrong. But instead, things were going very well today, to the point that, at the end of the evening, I felt this burning ambition that one day, a can do attitude. Like, “Yes, we can! Yes, I can! I will get to write something that will be produced and distributed internationally.”

The point of the splinter story? Aside from sharing that I am actually a total wimp when it comes to pain, I need to remind myself not to connect events together. I tend to connect bad things together, like spilling sugar to a shitty job as a sign of what the future holds. It’s a superstition that does not help and I need to remember, events CAN be mutually exclusive.

It was food for thought. For me anyway.

The day ended with Eizwan and I baking an apple cobbler. I’m feeling good about myself, despite the exhaustion and even better when I cook and bake. Cooking is therapeutic after a difficult week and since Eizwan and I always cook together, it was a time where both of us could do things together and catch up. It was nice talking to the husband as we sat down together at the dining table to peel and chop apples.

Although this time round, was a little bit more careful with the chair next to me.


Plane Taking Off

Was at my in-laws place earlier today when I could hear an aeroplane take off. My in-laws live nearby the airport and occassionaly we can hear the aeroplanes take off and land, but most of the time it’s too far to actually hear anything.

For some reason today, I could hear quite clearly the sounds of the engine revving up, right before the aeroplane moves down the runaway. I recognize each sound, the slow hum of the engine right before the plane tears down the runaway, the loud roar of the engine and that high-pitched whine of the engine when the wheels finally lift off from the tarmac, and the roar begins to fade away as the plane moves higher and higher towards the heavens.

If you have to ask me, what is the most comforting sound in the world to me – my answer would be the sound of a plane taking off. Almost immediately I’m taken back to my childhood. It reminds me of my dad, it reminds me of the times we used to go on holiday together as a family. We flew very frequently, one of the perks of growing up with a dad working in the airline industry. The not-so-great perk was that as a result of his job, he traveled so much and was rarely home. When I hear the engine of a plane – it would remind me of my dad, remind me of the times we did get to follow him when he worked. When I hear the revving of a plane engine, I feel safe and secure, as though my dad is with me.

It’s something safe and comforting to think about – now that I’ve moved out of my parent’s place, and though I live, literally seven minutes away, I miss my parents. And you never know the future, where it might takes us. I might be seven minutes away, perhaps in a few years time Eizwan and I may have to live seven hours away from my parents. And God forbid, should anything happen to my father…it’s comforting to know that an industrial sound as painful and irritating to most is something that makes me feel loved and secure.

Eid Mubarak!

Eid Mubarak everyone!

It’s been about three weeks since my last entry and I have to say, this is the first time in weeks since Ramadhan started do I feel better about myself. It’s not to say I was feeling particularly low – but no, as I’ve discovered over the years, Ramadhan does not agree with me very well and I usually spend Ramadhan being very sickly.

Ramadhan is over now, and it means I’m heading back to ruddy health. During this year’s session at the mosque, the Imam spoke about how in Ramadhan, we are actively and explicitly denying ourselves from God’s bounties to actually appreciate what he actually does give us. It made me think that even my health was the result of His bounty and goodness to me, and that during Eid, I am very grateful for being able to wake up and not feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest.

Of course, you can argue that why on earth would I be subjecting myself to such pain in the first place – but I like Ramadhan! I like the communal spirit, I like not having to think about lunch, I like the peace and quiet that comes with it. I like the challenge, trying to cleanse yourself from temptation and the celebration after. It’s a break from the year’s mundane activities – it’s a time of reflection and Eid feels like the New Year’s when it does happen after a month of waking up early, restraining yourself from eating and drinking.

But I have to be aware that I’m not supposed to fast if it kills me – and this year was the first year I contemplated on giving it up completely, fasting once every two days or so. It’s disappointing but well, no point fasting if you end up in hospital. But I do wonder if Eid will be just as exciting if I cut down on my efforts during Ramadhan.

This year’s Eid was, to use the overused term in technology, a game-changer. Being married meant splitting our time between two families. It was tough because both Eizwan and I are stubborn people and we want to spend time with our families but I think we managed about okay. I do like having more people to visit, even if it meant being a little more exhausted. And this year, as bonus, Hani is back, so we were family over Eid and plus one.  So this year, was rounds of merrymaking, overeating, fits of giggles and more family.

To think I thought Eid was for little kids – but no, I’ve learnt over the years is that Eid is what you make of it. We have experimented over the years, to do without the silly fairy lights, the Raya cards, the traditional foods – but it was all wrong. No, Eid is still about the gluttony, the overeating to please the hosts of the homes you go to, although your beautiful clothes are bursting at the seams and the silly fairy lights.

This year I had it all – the silly fairy lights, the misshapen cookies that I baked, a small Iftar at my place whereby nosebleeds and severe allergies were induced (sigh!), the new baju raya (new clothes for Eid morning) from a tailor I’m losing patience with, the getting lost on the way to a relative’s house (damn you, Garmin!), stressing my poor heart with cholesterol consumed from various red meats and parts of a cow I didn’t know you could eat. But I ate anyway.

It’s Monday today, and all the celebrations have calmed down somewhat. Most people will be on leave for the rest of the week and really, we’re in Malaysia and the party goes on one month long.  I’m enjoying the quiet but I am starting to feel that it’s time to get a move on. I had 3 months to adjust to a new life and a new home. Eid feels a lot like a brand new year for most people and it most certainly does for me. Now it’s time to start running again.