The Art of Seduction

“Don’t you want me, baby? Don’t you want me, ooooooh!?”

I think Human League got it spot on when it comes to the theatre industry. We’re almost there with the venue end but so far, it’s been, well an, hmm, interesting journey to say the least.

Whilst you sell your soul in finance, in arts, it’s all about prostitution. Is there no noble career out there?

My little theatre company is obviously not the standard of Spitzer’s call girl from the Empress club. I’d like to think we’re slightly better than walking the streets type of prozzies but at times, I do feel that I might have to force our production crew to the real streets to get enough funding.

Our actors would get more money if they walked the streets but then we’d have nobody to act.

But anyway, so far we’ve been outright lied to: “Gosh! I’m so sorry, we don’t have a venue free that night,” (found out later, there’s plenty) to my personal favourite rejection: “I’m sorry. We don’t support newly independent theatre.” Read: I wouldn’t dare tarnish my shiny premises with you filthy ragamuffins. Now run along now, children, you’re in my breathing space.

My patience has increased tenfold since this entire escapade, and I find rejections far more amusing than I should. As I told a friend of mine, just you wait Mr. Shiny Premises. One day, when I’m rich and famous, I’m going to buy up your premises and make it into skanky and smarmy brothel. Just you wait, “Mwahahahahahahaha!”

Continuing the trend of prostitution, I’ve sent my director to schmooze to a Very Important Chairperson who could make life so much easier for all of us, even sent a very schmoozy letter for him to use. The director can be very charming if he wants to be so let’s see how his talents are put to use.

As the accountant suggested, perhaps it IS easier to just get funding and build our own premises. Presenting “Coming Out of the Closet” in our newly built, multi-purpose auditorium! Coming soon, in the year 2020.


Had to share it with you guys this one. Was talking to my friend Xav about my foray into the performing arts:

“I’m glad to hear that you’re doing creative things now.”

“Thanks, it took me a while. I was too scared at first to do creative things.”

“Well, it does take some time to develop that confidence. Being Francais, I already have that confidence. Or arrogant streak, rather.”

“See, I’m Asian. When I was growing up, I was told to do accounting. I rebelled and did economics instead.”


Venue, venue, wherefor art thou my venue?

So the trick about putting up your own play in KL is getting a venue. And to actually have the foresight of booking a venue about 6 months in advance. Because to suddenly go on a whim and feel, “Hey, what the heck! I’m gonna put on a play next month!” is just not a good idea. In fact, it’s heart-attack inducing.

No worries though. We’re almost there in booking a venue.

But, should you need a consultant for a venue in KL, you can always call on me. I know every single theatre, auditorium and lecture theatre in KL after this little sojourn of mine.

Production meeting today:

Our evil accountant Yazmin sat down with us and made the artsy types face to the realities of running a play. That meant number crunching, from phone bill claims to petrol to even pizza dinners for actors. After pulling TEH EVILZ CALCULATORZ out, the number came up to a whopping…well, a lot. It crossed the RM 10,000 boundary, a boundary that I hoped we’d never cross.

It was amazing that I didn’t faint really. But certainly the directors and producer turned white as sheet as the cliche goes. But it’s a bit like exam results. Best to get it out of the way.

On other unrelated but very important news:

‘The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency’ the TV Series will premier tonight in the UK! It’s directed by the recently late (I think this sounds like an Indian term, but I could be wrong) Anthony Minghella. It’s a shame none of my fandoms seem to enjoy the novels. Can’t squee about it with anyone cept my mom.  I hope I could download it tomorrow!