In my directing class, in a session for directing actors, I learnt something about myself. We did a mini-sketch where my character was supposed to act as though I was in love with someone but I can’t really show it. I was one of the few actors that really had trouble with grasping the role. My teacher, an actor turned film director, in one sentence summed up why exactly I was struggling. I was not someone who would show my emotions, and that despite whatever issues I was going through, I would hide it deep down inside and keep smiling. It took a few minutes of coaching before I could finally display my acting prowess which of course, wowed everyone. *ahem*
I learnt two things from the class that day. One was, that if you’re watching a show and the actors just can’t act…aside from them being incompetent at their own job, the director is doing a pretty crap job at motivating them as well.
Secondly, I did not realize how deeply I could hide how I feel, that I am a firm believer of ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’. Sharing is for pansies.
2012 has been a very deeply emotional year for me. It is not the easiest year and while it may be easy for some to spend time to write out how they feel, the underlying issues they harbour deep down inside – it isn’t for me. While this does not mean I am going to change anytime soon, spilling my emotional guts on my blog either – this is my attempt at being as honest as possible explaining my long absence on this blog.
I am trying to change this however. Whatever issues I have, should not stop me from writing. Writer’s Block may be a bitch but I have no excuse to stop writing. Hopefully you’ll be seeing me in a while.