Paranoia Hits

Has it been nearly one week since I’ve last blogged? Well, well. So much for my promise to keep blogging as often as I can. So what happened since I’ve last blogged?

Honestly not much. I’ve started sending out the invitation cards, and my poor father, who is very, very paranoid, the one where I’m quite sure have genetically inherited his paranoia, is quite certain that OMG! NO ONE IS ATTENDING!!! OH NOES!! based on the RSVP count. I’m not panicking…yet,because we have ages to go till the deadline, and then it would be up to everyone to call and confirm.

The thing is, if I allow myself to panic about it, I think I definitely will. I won’t because right now, I’m mostly spent panicking about…

The house.

Because Eizwan and I are mad enough to want to move out and live on our own immediately after our wedding, the past few weeks have been dedicated to hunting a house. I am a real fusspot, and I know exactly what I want and what I don’t want. Aha…considering our limited means, this is certainly not and easy task.

So, we’re talking dealing with real estate agents, going to housing estates during our free time, calling them during our free time, arguing because I’m becoming paranoid. Paranoid that I can’t find a house on time, paranoid I can’t make ends meet. I think as the wedding draws closer, I become extremely paranoid.

The paranoia is terrible because it affects everything. I’m starting to worry about every single detail – from things I should not worry about. I’m not aiming for perfection, but I do know, a big part of me is anxious if people would turn and make the effort for my wedding. It’s easy to write off someone else’s wedding as “Oh, another one,” but I suppose you become so anxious and you want them to come to yours when it’s your turn. What if everything that is meticulously planned becomes horrible?

I do have plenty to update – buuut, I actually have plenty of work so it’s going to be hard to blog, plan a wedding when I have a huge writing job to finish. This writing job is really making me smile because despite the insanity and innanity of the situation (the deadline is like 4 days before the wedding) – I’m doing what I love best, writing.

Will share more soon. Just don’t quite like a non-updated blog.


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