*Skip if you don’t to read about mushy, gushy things about my life experiences*
Somewhere in 2006, I was deeply unhappy about my job back in TEH EVILZ ORG. I was so unhappy about my job that I fantasized about getting into an accident on the way to work so that I wouldn’t get to the office. And each day was a torture, I counted the number of days I had to serve before I could leave.
It was also around that time I had the worst writer’s block of my life. I would stare at the screen and not be able to write anything. Life really had no meaning.
Around the same time, BBC Entertainment (RIP BBCE) was picked up by Astro. As I was missing England so desperately at that time, I watched everything on BBC E, including countless episodes of the crappy ‘The Weakest Link’. They had the updated Doctor Who – I vaguely remember my mum telling me something about DW when she was growing up as a kid, when Malaysia used to import more British programmes than Hollywood stuff. Something about the Daleks scaring the hell out of her.
Watched the first few episodes of Doctor Who and was thoroughly unimpressed. It seemed more stupid then intelligent. It was no Hollywood show and I left it behind.
And then one day, while visiting my parents in Johor, I chanced on another DW episode. It was one of those lazy Sundays – and I watched whatever was on. It was Doctor Who. Father’s Day to be accurate. I watched the episode and I cried.
I was completely flabbergasted that I could cry over a kid’s show. And I vowed to watch another episode. I did. It was the Empty Child. And I was hiding my eyes behind my fingers as I sat on the sofa, terrified of a kiddie show. And then I watched another. And then, I ahem, made way to an ahem, less than legal supplier of DVDs to get an entire season (I’ve made up for it since by buying the originals). And watched it almost all in one go. And I watched it again and cried when the Doctor regenerated.
Life continued on all the same in the meanwhile. It was still difficult, and to a certain extent, it never got any easier. I went through lows that I would not wish on anyone and retreated back into things that were familiar to me to keep me sane. Like fanfic and Doctor Who.
I was addicted to Doctor Who. I watched, I surfed through forums, bought little Dalek keychains. And when the season was off air, I read the fanfics like a fiend, trying to get as much DW I could get in my life.
And then one day, the unthinkable happened. Three years after I stopped writing fiction, after watching John Simm flap around as the Master, I picked up a metaphorical pen (metaphorical since I mostly type these days) and started writing. I started writing what became ‘The Master and the Wolf‘. I did it during my spare time, I love Billie Piper, I love John Simm, thought they would look so cute together.
‘The Master and the Wolf‘ led to writing ‘Pop Princess‘, my first script frenzy, little shorts that got me into the Astro-NIDA writing classes, my first staged play – ‘Coming Out the Closet‘, little short stories revolving a nutty town in Malaysia, a short story, shorts that were filmed and then my most ambitious project ever, a full-length mystery novel. I’ve lost a social life dedicated to this project, it’s nowhere near complete but by God, I’m going to try and get it published.
I wrote the fanfic for myself; it was Eizwan who insisted I ought to try post it up online. It meant a new kind of discipline as well, reworking on an old piece, polishing it up. It was my first novel-length piece that I finished and posted for everyone to see.
It’s not perfect but it was this baby that started me writing again. And this Saturday or Sunday, I’ll be posting the final chapter and there is a kind of ache in my heart, a bit like losing a best friend. This fanfic means quite a lot to me – it brought Eizwan and I closer than ever, he is my number one cheerleader – he reads through my writing late at night, edits it and criticizes it when he thinks it’s not good enough and sometimes is late to work for it.
This fic is what pushed me to write and to dream again. This fic helped me develop discipline for writing, especially when there are days when I’m bored out of my mind trying to write it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be a published author. I do know it is something I want very much in my life. It is something that I am willing to put my wedding planning aside for, something I work till late at night for and pushing my friends aside for.
But if I do. It will be because many years ago, I caught a kiddie programme on TV that compelled me to write again when everything seemed so bleak. There are writers who credit brilliant authors for their inspiration to write. I will credit a Time Lord traveling in a phone box battling pepper-pot aliens.
Title: The Master and the Wolf
Summary: Three years post Doomsday, Rose has adjusted somewhat to her life in Pete’s world as Defender of the Earth. But she’s about to face her greatest test yet as she finds an abandoned TARDIS in the Tundra. And just who is this Harry Saxon trying to woo her?
Read it here on: Teaspoon (where it will be completed this weekend) or on Fanfic.net