Monday February 11, 2008

Of Giantess Words in Legal Documents

It is a brand new day, brand new working day and I am trying very hard to stay awake. I’ve even stopped taking actifed in attempts to stay up. I’m starting to think I’ve been bitten by the tsetse fly as opposed to nursing a cold.

Anyway, what I am currently doing is, I am currently sitting down in front of my pc trying to decipher some new legal documents that came my way. I’ve been re-reading some of the sentences almost four, five times without comprehending what exactly they are trying to say.

Thing is, I pride myself with having decent English. After all, I write in English, proudly carry a bilingual IB diploma that certifies my English as a native speaker, I think in English, I speak in English to my parents and to my boyfriend.

So, when I read an official document filled with GIANTESS words and sentences a mile long, it fills me up with unspeakable rage. Like why on earth can’t people speak in plain English. I swear, the state of f i n a n c e in our country is in is most probably due to people having no clue what the guidelines and regulations are trying to say. We’re f***ing finance practitioners, not effin’ lawyers. If you insist on writing in moronspeak, get the lawyers to do finance and see how they fare.

Geez, writing in big ass words with running sentence does not make you look intelligent. It makes you look like you’re pulling sh** out of your ass and pasting it all over the paper.

Posted 2/11/2008 at 5:31 AM

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