Listening to the Creative Self

Monday November 19, 2007
 

First day of the course, and am pretty much frazzled out. Not much happened today aside from creative exercises. Today was one of those exercises day where you were supposed to let your heart and mind flow, and just write.

But plenty of food for thought. One of the things I did recognize about myself today was how impatient I am. I have these ideas on what I want and how I want to see through them. Sometimes, I wish I have the maturity to stand back and take a breath and observe. I want to be right and good the first time that I don’t slow down to let the mind and the soul do its job.

I remember my music teacher once said that I lived life on the fast lane, I wanted things and I wanted them now. And that drives me to work and work and push and push for things. But she said that I needed to chill and reflect. Which, if most of you know me in real life, is very difficult. I’m deeply ambitious and its something I feel inside my bones.  As David says, patience is a virtue that I do not have.

But today, when we talked about creativity, I realize I need to slow down or I’ll miss the finer things in life. I need to be able to listen to other people’s work and not feel intimidated. I need to focus and listen to my inner creative self regardless of others around me. I need to hone what I already know instinctively and work it into paper. I need to believe more in my skills and not depend on validation from teachers or fellow peers. It’s not a race, it goes beyond that.

To realize it’s not a race means to slow down. Like yoga and meditation, gaining so much more by slowing down.

Tough. All this from half a day? Yeah. It’s definitely one of those courses.

Posted 11/19/2007 at 6:17 AM
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