7 days – Of bridezilla shopping and harassing the husband-to-be

And so, the bridezilla does appear. To be fair, I’ve mostly contained the inner beast and summoned its appearance when necessary but yesterday, I harnessed its beastly powers for good – shopping!

And what an epic shopping trip it was. I was a little worried that I had quite a number of items left on my to-buy list and when my client canceled on my meeting yesterday, it was shopping time! I dragged both my cousin and sister, who was on holiday, for ‘advice’.

I reckon it was more akin to torture though for them.

The damage was:

1. One pair of shoes for the nikah. Awesome, cheap and full of bling – exactly what the doctor ordered. Something OTT to go with my simple dress.

2. Lingerie from Marks & Spencers. It’s not something to detail out on a blog, but hey, I’ve been eyeing them for ages, and I’m proud I got something pretty. Sure the damage was extensive but they ought to last a while.

3. A form-fitting shapewear item from La Senza. This one, when I tried it on in the evening, I’m not so sure to be happy or a little upset over the purchase. It was not expensive – no, and it certainly did smooth out the lumps curves but it was not as tight as I hoped it to be. My sister reckoned it’s because I’ve lost weight – I’m wondering if I made the mistake purchasing it from La Senza over M&S. Mum reckons if I’m not happy, I could go out and buy a corset – which I disagree on. It’s expensive, and it’s painful so well, form-fitting it is.

4. Two pairs of shoes for my dayang (bridesmaids). I needed a cheap-ish but pretty sandals for my dayang. Entered a shop and saw two pairs of brown sandals, on the discount section. Said to myself that if they were the sizes of my bridesmaids, a size 5 and a size 9, I’m just going to buy. Picked them up, flipped them around and voila! It is fate.

I am still missing stockings but I shall not go out today. Well, shopping anyway. The meeting has been moved today and my back is aching, with tiny little knots near my spine – should have worn geeky Nike shoes as opposed to stylish flats when shopping. Signs I am getting older. Gone are the days when I could shop 6 hours non-stop in stilettos.

***

I have an idea what we will be doing to entertain our guests from overseas. I’m quite excited with everyone coming over, it’s not long now.

On the Sunday aft er the wedding, we have some ideas planned out for our guests. I suggested that we end the evening with some Doctor Who. Hani pointed out that only half of our guest list likes Doctor Who. The rest of them finds it weird.

Hmm. Should I pull out my bridezilla card and throw an epic tantrum and force everyone to watch an episode of Doctor Who and thereby confirming to everyone what a true nutcase I really am?

So overseas guests, keep your Sundays clear for a Malaysia, Truly Asia, day out. Of course, if you know Malaysians, it means, mall, malls, and more malls. Kidding. It’ll be fun.

***

So epic bridal prep is turning epic. My sister had just flown back and already she’s in the thick of it. She reckons that she’s losing weight already -  a lot more weight than her time in the UK.

“At this rate, we’ll be a bag of bones for the wedding. Bag of bones, in pretty sacks since our clothes don’t fit anymore with sallow and sunken eyes.”

True. But I hired a good photographer who theoretically should make us all look good. Hahaha. The pressure the man is under.

***

I’ve been having odd dreams lately. Not that anyone would want to read about dreams – but I have to note, they are odd. I’ve been dreaming about the people from my past – all the way back from University and High School. Yesterday was especially weird, I dreamt I was comforted by a boy from HS, someone I was not even close to!

A psychologist possibly could interpret my dream, however, the psychologist is sleeping like there’s no tomorrow. Which, to be fair, there might not be a tomorrow at the epic rate we’re going.

I would be ridiculous if I don’t admit that myriad of emotions I feel inside of me makes me feel like overcooked spaghetti – soft and mushy and all tangled up. I think it’s good to feel this way – I imagine that I don’t allow myself to feel a little bit of sadness, that there is something wrong with me.

Change is something that I am used to in my life. All my life, in the short 27 years I’ve lived on this planet, change and more often than not, drastic change. In all the crazy change, it’s the small things, intangible things that I hold on to – like friendship, family and love.

People may change, our relationships will evolve, it will be crazy not to expect to evolve. But I cherish our friendship, during the crests and troughs as we ride this wave called life…okay, this is the reason why I hate pretentious, metaphoric writing. It sounds so cliched.

Let’s start over.

Ahem. I am sad how things will change after I marry – it is ridiculous to assume otherwise. But having said that, many things have changed over the years and the people I care about, they’ve changed too. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the not so good. But what matters I think is the effort on both parts to sustain. I have friends, old friends that I kept in touch with for so long that the thought of letting go kills me inside.

I know it’ll be harder when I marry. I’ll have my own place, a new set of responsibilities and in a few years time, even addition to my own small family. But it’s always been hard to keep in touch with people when your circumstances and there will be some days, I will be a little forgetful. I just want people to know that I always carry you in my heart, that I treasure our friendship very, very much. I’ll be back, I promise and I won’t forget.

Sounds like I’m leaving to go live in some small island in Wales, don’t I? Never to return, guarded by them dragons. Blame my siblings who more often than not treat me like I’m going forever! As my sister’s friend put it, it’s like she’s dying!

I’m not dying, God, I’m getting married!

***

Eizwan is finally practicing the words he has to say for the akad. In a Muslim ceremony, the nikah solemnization is said by the man as the woman sits aside, prettily and demurely.

There is this unnecessary and weird tradition in Malaysia, that you ought to say the words in just one go, as though it’s not a good thing to say it more than once. So again, undue pressure on the groom.

Eizwan’s been practicing it of course, in his mind. Of course, as Eizwan found out yesterday, saying it aloud and saying it in your head are two different things. Last night, his dad got him to try practice it aloud with the mic and Eizwan found his tongue getting all twisty, at one point pronouncing to marry his father instead.

When he told me, I just smiled and nodded, warning him that for every time he made a mistake, I’ll just say “strike one”, “strike two” etc from my demure place at the corner.

No pressure, my darling. No pressure.

8 days – To tired to write a proper post

I am utterly, utterly exhausted. My insides feel like over-cooked spaghetti, all soft and mushy and tangled up. I still have a million and one things to do, my writing job is nowhere near complete and my head is spinning, my nose is stuffed.

Surprisingly of course, 8 days away, I do feel rather calm. I mean, usually things like the magic undies fitting better than expected would upset me – and it should, I paid RM 169 from La Senza, you would think it’d suck it in better but it didn’t, Hani reckoned it’s because I’ve lost weight – but I’m not. I’m generally okay.

I’m okay about a lot of things right now, from the chaos of moving to my new place on May 31st to trying to cope up with writing an MC speech, a speech for my dad and writing screenplays at the same time. Heck, even the possibility of writing scripts during my honeymoon doesn’t faze me right now.

I am zen.

The only thing I do regret coming up to my wedding is that I can’t spend enough time with all the wonderful people who are coming over to Malaysia with me. If I had my way and all the money in the world, I’d just take off and spend time with all of you (husband, what husband? Hehehe)

But anyway.8 days to go. So far, I’ve bought everything on my list, save for the final gift on Eizwan’s hantaran, which can only be delivered the day before. Worried? Just a wee bit, everything should be okay. I can feel it in my gut that things are going to be okay.

Watch me panic in 8 days time.

How To Train Your Dragon, Your Bridezilla, Your Photographer, Your Inner Novelist/Academic etc

All kinds of awesome is…”How to Train Your Dragon”. It’s a real shame that it has not been making the waves it deserves. It’s funny, it’s heartwarming and it’s action-packed. The storyline may be a tiny bit cliched and repeated (but there are no new stories – case in point, the tedious Avatar) but I loved the pacing, the humour and the storytelling.

The only sad part about the entire affair is that I spent the entire movie trying to figure out which one was David Tennant. Drove me nuts that I could not figure it out

Oh DT. You won’t be on this Saturday. I’m going to miss you. But yayy for Doctor Who season 5!

I think I’ll be buying the novel by Cressida Cowell after the movie. It seems like mucho fun. Well, I hope it’s half as witty as the movie.

***

So…I’ve finally picked up two out of the four wedding dresses that I’m going to have. It cracks me up a little that I will have four dresses at the end of this shenanigans events. I’m the last person to have such a princess-y outlook in life and to end up with four dresses, I have to say it is rather ironic.

Eizwan and I did a quick calculation on how much my dresses, all four of them, cost. And I have to say, I am rather pleased, accessories and shoes included is way below my budget. I am only paying for two of them – so it’s all good *smug*

Still though, sometimes I wonder if all this fanfare with the dresses, the expensive photographers – if they’re all worth it. Technically, with the budget that we spend on the wedding, you can get yourself an impressive diamond ring. So…cut down on the party size, up on the ring size my pretties!

Come 4th June, we’ll see if this is all worth it. I’m tired of dreaming of errant photographers, disastrous wedding dresses and the sort. I’d rather be dreaming about dragons.

***

I’ve come across a few good articles this past two weeks that I’ve been meaning to talk about. “How not to title a novel“ cracked me up, especially I’m not the best at titling my work (it tends to come off as rather cheesy) or unnecessarily provocative. Like my last play (gosh, was it so long ago?) Coming Out of the C*loset was attacked for being gay-friendly (by conservatives) and not gay enough (by liberals). It was a very bizarre spot to be put in.

I thought, personally, it was a clever title, playing on the plots and themes of the play.

Secondly, an article by the NYT on the economics of happiness: “The Sandra Bullock Trade”. The article questions if you would rather have tremendous professional success over a successful marriage – and discusses the very difficult relationship between income and happiness.

The article reminds me of my uni professor, Andrew Oswald, a professor who I remember having very  shiny shoes and warned men that women would give up their husbands for 60,000 pounds per annum (on the other hand, men would give up their wives at 100,000 pounds per annum). I read this article with a pang of regret, a part of me wishes I had focused on the study of the economics of happiness, because it IS a field that I’m still very much interested in. I’ve been seeing a trend in the news lately (Guardian, NYT) that we need to focus on what makes society happy as opposed to an increase in income and to governments trying to feel their way on what would make us happiest. So stupid to think that investment banking, finance was the way to go. Ah to be young and naive.

***

Schumacher and Rosberg will be whizzing by KLCC this evening. I’m feeling utterly exhausted – heart palpitations and wheezyness, so I don’t feel like braving the crowds. But I promised my brother I would go. So dilemma, dilemma. Here’s to hoping he would not wake up anytime soon and we’d just have to go next year